I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
