Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize