I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
