He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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