Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
