I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
