And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
