He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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