are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
