She announced her abortion via fbk
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
