You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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