Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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