Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
