Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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