So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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