Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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