we're blogging at a bar
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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