it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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