Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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