I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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