We won't sleep together?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
