I can tuck mytits in my pants
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
