google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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