are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
