hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
