Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I love you.
Bad choice
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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