I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
