and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
