There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
