I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
