Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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