The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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