Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Can Purell be used as lube?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

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(919): View more from North Carolina

guys are only as good as the porn they watch

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(212): View more from New York

1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?

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(808): View more from Hawaii

It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...

(778): View more from British Columbia

I hate you.

(604): View more from British Columbia

You LOVE me.

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