Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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