East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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