Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
