Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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