My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
