singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
