and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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