So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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