There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I had to cum in my sink.
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