sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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