honey bunches of taint.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
