if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
