John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
