who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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