You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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