as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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