thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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