the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
